So you finally secured a Jr/Sr date. You survived the overthinking, the hallway sightings, the “are they going with anyone?” group chats. Impressive. Now, if your completely chaotic goal is to end up taking mirror selfies alone before April 17th, here is your foolproof, absolutely terrible guide to losing them in record time.
Day 1 and 2:
Immediately start planning your entire future together. Casually mention how cute your name sounds with theirs. Send Pinterest boards titled “Our Wedding Colors” and casually ask how many kids they want. Bonus points if you say, “I already told my mom about you.”
Day 3 and 4:
Text them every seven minutes. Good Morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. “Did you eat?” “What are you thinking about?” If they don’t respond within thirty seconds, follow up with, “???” and then, “Are you mad at me?”
Day 5:
Take full control of outfits. Inform that you’ve already chosen their tie color, shoe style, and hairstyle. Coordination is cute. Commanding is… memorable.
Day 6:
Announce a mandatory six-hour photoshoot before the event. In three separate locations. During golden hour. Even if it is raining. If they blink during a picture, insist on retaking all 47 shots.
Day 7 and 8:
Tell their friends you’re “basically dating now.” Change their contact name to “Jr/Sr Babe <3.” Make sure they hear about it last.
Day 9 and 10:
Get jealous over literally nothing. “Why did you like that post from 2022?” or, “Why did you laugh at that comment?”
Or you could just relax, communicate, and actually have fun. Jr/Sr is supposed to be about memories not a rom-com disaster montage. Unless you’re aiming for the sequel.
