Student:

“I just need a doctor, a lawyer, a CEO, or a trust fund baby.”

“I would never bring Dr. Pepper into this unholy place.”

“You expect us to listen in class and pay taxes?”

“Is Dr. Bob cremated in the walls?”

“This is where they sacrifice the F students.”

“I can infuse you with axolotl DNA.”

“We should vote Arnold Schwarzenegger for president – there’s still time.”

“Why the sun god? There are so many better gods to sacrifice to.”

“I think Alexander Hamilton would have liked Animal Crossing.”

“I can’t wait to be a wife and get told to go back into the kitchen. That’s where the knives are.”

“If I am not getting covered in spit, I’m in the wrong seat.”

“Go sniff my Stanley!”

Faculty:

“You cannot think about the opposite gender while I’m teaching this.” – Mrs. Richmond

“We’re gonna run it through, just like Tybalt.” – Mr. Wright

“I understand French and a little German but not ‘sus.’” – Mrs. Anderson 

“My students have good spirits, even when shot with syringes.” – Ms. Corey

“Don’t you ever feel like when you get home you want to beat something with a pool noodle?” – Mrs. Anderson

“This is not the time to be your lovely idiot selves.” – Mrs. Snyder

“Fluorine has the highest electronegativity–the most rizz of them all.” – Mrs. Weldy

“Cry or I’ll make you kiss the devil that lives in my closet… It even has nose hairs!” – Mr. Nic

“The government rarely does something for fun… well, except for invading small countries.” – Mr. Henderson

“I didn’t realize reading was a contact sport.” – Mrs. Cofer

“And after the equal sign it’s really great because a lot of people die!” – Mrs. Richmond

“I didn’t know Kim Kardashian was literate, much less an author.” – Mrs. Cofer

“I’m so glad my class encourages you to scream.” – Ms. Corey

“I call French ‘tipsy Spanish.’” – Mr. Cancino

“What do I know? I’m just a director, not a woman.” – Mr. Nic

“The hills are alive, and they’re eating children.” – Mrs. Smith

“If you break that chair, I’m going to break your face.” – Mrs. Cofer

“I might get around to it after I murder somebody. I’ve gotta have my murder arc first.” – Mrs. Snyder

“Only date girls who have night vision.” – Mrs. Cofer

“We all know men can be slippery and slimy sometimes.” – Ms. Corey

“What’s your life dream? I dream of getting bored in jail.” – Mrs. Anderson

“What is it with thirteen-year-olds?” – Mrs. Klass